Monday, January 24, 2011

How to tie a bow tie (or: welcome to adulthood, learn a new knot)


OK. Bow ties are back in (sort of), I get it. But what is with the clip-ons? Why is it that we draw the line of learning fashion knots with the Double Windsor? Learning new things can be fun and - with the internet - so easy!

I don't want to hear "I don't know how to tie a bow tie" as an excuse to not wear proper adult attire. If you didn't know how to tie a standard neck tie, would you just give up and shop in the children's department for a clip-on? No, you would learn the old fashioned way, from your dad, girlfriend or some other source of such wisdom. As such, clip-ons are relegated to kids, who have yet to be educated on the proper technique of tying a safe knot around their own necks.

So why is the bow tie any different? It's just a blinking knot. If you couldn't learn a simple knot, you'd still be in Velcro sneakers - so you are capable of doing this. I have faith in you.

As always, if Google knows how to tie a bow tie, you know how to tie a bow tie. Problem solved.


I can hear it now: "but - I don't have a self-tying bow tie." Well you didn't have a clip-on before you bought it either, so smarten up and start shopping where people assume you have half a brain. I'm a fan of etsy for these sorts of things, as I could care less about brand names, don't like the sideways glances of sales people as a woman who shops in the "mens" department and also have a serious soft-spot for handcrafted accoutrement. I have bought several bow ties from xoelle - and would recommend that shop highly, as they used recycled fabrics (old ties, shirts etc.) and can even take your old neck ties and turn them into bow ties. I've recycled two old silk ties that were a little worse for wear and now they look fabulous - as will I, every time that I wear them. 

So there you have it - all you need to know to enter the world of the adult consumer of ties. Maybe later we'll talk ascots, as I'm starting to see those pop up in the queer community. That means it's only a matter of time to see them popping up in hipster bars and straight clubs.

n.b. Don't ever be caught in public by a very talented photographer wearing a clip-on tie if you are going to be commenting on the dubious nature of said item. Unless, of course, this is some kind of ridiculous child-like costume for a flamboyant parade - then, at least, you would have some kind of lame excuse for this mildly public contradiction.





2 comments:

  1. Came across your post whilst looking for instructions to send out to a customer (I sell silk bow ties on Etsy) & wanted to give what you say an 'Amen'. The best tip I came across is that tying a bow tie is the exact same knot as tying a shoelace, which stopped me overthinking it all & made life so much simpler. So if you're big enough to tie your own shoes, there's no excuse, in my books, for wearing clip-on & ready-tied bow ties

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  2. Great article with good description. Thanks a lot for sharing this useful info with us.

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